Journey to Serenity
Broken. Sitting in that same hotel room with the same problem. Hopelessness. That feeling in your heart and soul of complete and utter desperation. You're just sitting there wondering how you got back to the same place you swore you'd never go back to. Doing the same things you swore you'd never do again. Being stuck in that chaotic tornado of destruction hurting everyone and everything that crosses your path. You want nothing but to change and to stop the pain you've caused yourself. Pride and ego get in the way of your help and the complete surrender you know you need. The phone feels like an anvil when you pick it up to ask for help. Loved ones feel like strangers because you pushed them all away. Sweating, shaking, and breathing heavy, but all you have left is that last sip of the elixir that doesn't even come close to healing the pain. That's how you got here in the first place, isn't it? Man made poison made to make us fall into a delusion of escape. Just a few sips and there go the day's worries just like that, right? Yet, there you are - broken and spiritually bankrupt. Sick due to withdrawals, and so lost without any slight inclination of what to do.....
This was the story of my life for the last year and a half. A slave to addiction. Falling to a poison that dictated my every move. It controlled when I woke up, when I went to sleep, when I ate, who I hung out with, whom I dated, where I went, and what I believed in. Finally, today I am free from this vicious cycle that has taken so many lives. Last summer alone I lost six of my best friends - each of them played a huge role in my life. The crazy thing is that I don't hate this disease we call addiction. I don't hate anything today. The hardships and traumatic events I've survived have made me a warrior of light.
This transformation didn't come easily, and definitely didn't come without a price to pay. Due to my chaotic nature of being, I had destroyed almost every area where I was living. Everywhere became a threat to my well-being and there was no way I could change my life without a change of scenario. I moved three thousand miles away from family, friends, and most importantly, all of the negative energy I had created. The geographical change alone was surely not sufficient, but was the first step in surrender. Surrendering the destruction and negativity, and replacing it with perpetual growth and positivity. The next step was to "dry out" or detoxify. This took about two weeks of pain and patience. Then the true work began. I started to look for my power within, connect to the Spirit of the Universe, and return to a higher vibrational frequency.
This connection was not foreign to me, but it had been lost for quite some time during my time of suffering. I reconnected with this power through meditation and my appreciation for nature. I began to connect with the ocean by swimming and surfing, becoming one with Earth's currents. This allowed me to humble myself and see the true power and connectedness with the Universe that we as humans sometimes forget. I also found my Medicine in the forest, surrounding myself with giant Redwoods and Mountains. I felt shrunk down physically while growing immensely my connection with the Earth and the Universe; gazing up at the sky, seeing shooting stars, looking into galaxies so far away, yet feeling a deep connection to that thing so far beyond my personal comprehension. These things began to teach me gratefulness, humility, and respect.
When you are stuck in a loop of negativity, it's the simple things we always forget. Too many times we get caught up in the day to day nonsense, and can easily slip into a point of being "stuck." For me, "stuck" was being caught in the throes of my addiction - but "stuck" can mean anything - any situation, mindset, or lifestyle preventing you from being you. Whatever that "stuck" is for you, it can easily be solved by practicing a few positive habits: gratefulness, humility, respect, and love.
An easy way to remain grateful is to make a gratitude list. You can do this in your head or on paper. It is important to recognize what you are grateful for before you set your intention for the day. Too often I would catch myself wanting more and more of things I didn't even need. This would cause me to lose focus and motivation because I was seeking happiness from external sources instead of within.
To remain humble, I like to use meditation or have a presence in nature. Anything can work as long as you know there are things and universal powers far greater than you. This serves to shrink the ego and pride that draws us into a state of unhappiness or false happiness. When we focus too much on our personal power or status, we tend to judges others and push away love. Humility allows us to be in a state of gratefulness and helpfulness, and allows us to experience love.
To be respectful is to treat everyone you encounter like your brother or sister. Of course there will be people who bother you or people that do things you do not agree with, but this is where perspective becomes important. If you look at these situations and individuals from an objective standpoint you may be able to recognize they are on a different journey, but that their journey of growth is just as important as yours. Obviously, as humans we are not perfect so when you step out of line, just own up to it and be better. Always try to keep your side of the street clean.
And most importantly, show love to those who matter most to you, and to your enemies as well. The power of love is one of the strongest things we have as humans here on this planet. To love your enemies is to allow resentments to shrivel away and love to flow back to you in return. It is very true that we receive back exactly what we put out. Practicing these principles and characteristics will allow you to love all unconditionally; and by giving unconditional love, you will attract unconditional love. This will increase your inner peace and inner strength more than anything else, making you a bearer of the light of the universal spirit that exists within all of us.
As someone who has been through the ringer and back several times, these simple concepts have not only made me happier, but also saved my life.
You don't have fall to the depths of desperation to practice these things and begin to improve your life. Honestly, everyone can benefit from practicing these things, and the impact on our society as a whole would be exponential.
To achieve a connection to the power within us is such an important thing that many people never grasp in their life. I was one of those people. I was stuck in so many different loops of negative energy and negative behavior that achieving my full potential never seemed possible. It took hard work, but I am on the path to overcoming them and being free. I do not believe I have even come close to my full potential while here on Earth, but I do believe that I am back on the right path and on the journey for which my soul yearns.
Today, I am grateful for many things in my life and I owe this attitude to this new way of thinking I have come to practice. I am grateful for the love I give and receive. I am grateful to love myself and my spiritual reconnection that has allowed my soul to illuminate. And most of all, I am grateful for another chance at life.
If you are struggling with anything in life and feel as though you are "stuck" or in a "loop," give yourself a break and try out this perspective. These things do not come over time and do require some practice, but a new happier life is guaranteed if you stick to it. Anything worth achieving doesn't happen overnight, and things that you have to work for carry a much bigger reward.
If you ask me, a second chance at a new, happy life full of love sounds like a huge reward worth working for.
Best of luck in all of your challenges and have a safe and exciting experience in this journey we call life!
Written by Ryan Delcher
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